Social Media Wisdom from The Onion

No, I am not being sarcastic.

Wisdom. The real deal.

Amounting to, um, try to be realistic? About social media marketing?

This essay by the Onion’s digital strategist describes a big ol’ blooper in the guise of straight dope for all of us digital marketing so-and-sos.

I sympathize with the marketer’s lament for a simpler time when you could just buy some TV ads a year in advance, drink a few martinis, sexually harass your secretary, and go home. Even five years ago, a home-page stunt or takeover might have sufficed. Today, the platforms you “need to be on” change every few weeks. Facebook Groups are out and Pages are in. No, Pages are out and Subscriptions are in. Tumblr is the new black, and email is actually the best social network. Tom from MySpace has returned . . . on Facebook. And what on earth is your Pinterest strategy? Oh, you don’t have one? Congratulations, you just unlocked the Irrelevant Businessperson Badge on Foursquare.

I resemble that remark!

That was my Borscht Belt showing. I know exactly what I am doing with social media. I am an expert.

Still, a credentialed digital strategist writing this stuff? Beauty.

And for a little more pre-Foursquare pleasure, the Girl Drink Drunk:

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