Tired of Numbers, But Happy That Debates Are Done

Girlfriend is tired, you guys. Tired of numbers used as hammers. Tired of 5 trillion and 5.4 percent and 270.

Look what happens when you know numbers:

That’s right. You get 5 trillion lumps on your head instead of in your coffee, where they belong, unless you live in NYC.


So here’s the thing, Mr. Loony Tunes President: when Romney says that repealing Obamacare is the first step toward balancing the budget, you don’t launch yet again, for the 5 trillionth time, about his $5 trillion thing.

You say that Obamacare saves us several jatwillion dollars (I’m still avoiding numbers) over the next (blankety blank) years.

You say that under Obamacare, states actually do control Medicaid spending. And that states that reject Obamacare, under the SCOTUS decision, end up kicking tons of people off the rolls.

And speaking of numbers that shall not be spoken, here’s Nate Silver post-debate (and that link gets you a wide range of debate reactions, not just Silver’s nerdlingtonnery):

[A]veraging the results from the CBS News, CNN and Google polls, which conducted surveys after all three presidential debates along with the one between the vice-presidential candidates, puts Mr. Obama’s margin at 16 points. That compares favorably to Mr. Obama’s average 10-point margin after the second debate, and Vice President Joseph R. Biden’s 6-point margin against Representative Paul Ryan, but is smaller than Mr. Romney’s average 29-point win in Denver.

Nate, buddy, a little advice from someone who cares.  A big sister, maybe, or a distant cousin you see at Passover but enjoy gabbing with while the kids are hunting for the afikomen. Stop trying to use sentences. It’s impossible to follow. You’re not a wordsmith. Your a golden-fingertipped statistician. And that’s a wonderful thing to be. Believe me. I’d be jealous except I wouldn’t want to work for the New York Times anyway, stinky old rag. But reading your columns is like doing data-entry.

Try some bullet points. Use charts more completely.

I think maybe what you’re saying is that Obama’s performance last night helped a smidge, but that we shouldn’t have expected much more than that, given the lower relevance of a foreign policy debate competing with baseball and football.

My favorite feedback from the talking heads (I wish) was that Romney almost exclusively targeted swing states: Tough talk on China was aimed at Ohio voters. The naval fleet was for Virginia. And, duh, crippling sanctions on Iran were a li’l present to Florida. As were all of Israel’s hurt feelings about Obama’s decisions to visit their neighbors instead of them.

Good thing we all love teachers. We get to understand that there are other countries in the world besides those three. However, we hate teacher’s unions. And a second Obama term won’t change that much.

I’m off to my weekly bayonet lesson now. Happy stabbing!

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