Tag Archives: Politics

Dystopia and American Individualism

Today I learned the word “centi-millionaire.” I did not want to know this word. I did not require a vocabulary for gradations of unimaginable wealth. I did not want to imagine billionaires benevolently sharing social theories, real estate tips, and 60-year-old wine with their scrappy li’l neighbors in the soundless, glinting moneyscape of the topmost fraction of a percent. But now I know, and I cannot un-know.

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Hot Frigging Chocolate

When our government lays the groundwork for conditions that thoughtful people cogently compare to Nazi Germany and fascist Italy; when our president issues racist orders and statements unrepentantly; when our elected representatives appear to ignore millions of constituents who insist on full rejection of a racist, sexist, sadistic set of know-nothings running our most important federal agencies and a Nazi on the National Security Council is this a waking nightmare or are you just happy to see me; I have but one recommendation:

Put equal amounts of sugar and cocoa powder in a saucepan over medium heat. Dribble in milk (dairy for maximum custardy taste!) and whisk to make a paste. When it’s smoooooove, whisk in more milk until the color looks yum. Heat over medium until it bubbles around the edges, and then keep heating it a bit longer to toast the milk sugars for nutty puddingness.

If you overmilked it and you’re like damn just opening Twitter today requires heroic chocolate this is no time for even an illusion of moderation (Elizabeth Warren, I’m talking to you), just whisk in more cocoa and sugar. Do not fear lumps. They will whisk away. Relish these easily fixable problems.

Ladle some out some to the clammering younglings, sure, but the point of this whole endeavor is to pour vodka into your own cup of hot fucking chocolate. And drink it. Bourbon would probably work too.

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Rationalizing the Future

By numbering these steps to likely self-destruction, I hope to provide a comforting illusion of linearity:

  1. Commit with passion to a dizzying barrage of lies
  2. Undermine, threaten, and ban the press, who may otherwise credibly report on one’s actions
  3. Question the legitimacy of democratic processes
  4. Laugh about regulations and norms that would constrain an executive’s decisions within long-established ethical boundaries
  5. Dare lawmakers to confirm the most racist, sexist, anti-queer, anti-love, anti-voter, anti-truth, anti-science cabinet imaginable
  6. Courageously maintain one’s dedication to lying
  7. Start passing laws and issuing executive orders that will kill people–by taking away our health care, by poisoning our water, by allowing our climate to warm unchecked until it is uninhabitable, by any number of callous, self-aggrandizing, thoughtless potentials
  8. Foment chaos. In one’s daily operations. In health care markets. In politics. In discourse
  9. Mock (and rape and assault) the vulnerable
  10. Maintain and strengthen business and political connections that will operate directly against the interests of the citizens of the United States
  11. Issue gag orders on thousands of employees
  12. Speak only lies.

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Activist for Hire

Earlier this week, I shuffled off this mortally cerebral coil and participated in a direct political action, like those Indivisible friends suggested, to shame my Republican senator into changing his mind about ACA repeal.

It didn’t work.

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Indivisible

That kvetching from yesterday? About how the left hasn’t organized around coherent, nationally consistent, grassroots/grasstops principles propelling legislative change? And that’s one reason why no one is stepping in now with a last-minute plan to stop the trumpocalypse? And that’s probably why we couldn’t get that sliver of folks in a handful of states to vote for a brand they could be proud of? And that’s why we have gerrymandered GOP-dominant districts optimizing/reinforcing segregation? Because the right is simply better organized than us?

Some anonymous Congressional staffers wrote a guide to how progressives should exploit Tea Party tactics

Highlights: Hold our local elected reps accountable for stopping the racist, sexist, destructive trumpgenda. Do this by hitting their PR, which they care about most. Hit their PR by showing up in person, looking filmable, with clear, concise demands for their on-the-record commitments. Invite the press. Model the diversity we support. Hand out talking points. We can’t let them win. Love trumps hate.

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We Are Now Less Free

Our president-elect ripped fistfuls of hair out of his wife’s skull because his plastic surgery operation hurt. Then he raped her. He mocked her pain the next morning.

He will outsource most presidential duties to a man who thinks of me as a walking uterus. In his ecstasy about reducing me to my reproductive capacity, he shut down Indiana health care clinics and gave hundreds of people HIV.

His chief of staff believes that schoolchildren who are Jewish, like me, are ‘whiny brats.” That is his nicest description of Jews, as far as I can tell.

I am among the least threatened by this election. I’m white, straight, employed, not Muslim, and not an immigrant. I fear for my physical safety only a little bit more than usual. But that little bit.  And my dear friends, colleagues, and compatriots who are scared for their life: We are all less free now.

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